Since I didn't expect to have to say anything, I left off my "Oscar-style Thank Yous" (which you are probably thankful for!) but I am especially thankful to Kristen Richardson, Mary Estes (FL Commerce/ behind-the-scenes), Heidi Otway (Salter Mitchell) & Michelle Bailey & Duwanda Pace of the Blairstone Branch (MOST. AWESOME. BRANCH. EVER.)

And I am most proud of bringing up my credit score -- those elusive folks with that nebulous formula at Fair Isaacs met their match, eh?

But I would like to point out that while this Challenge pressed me into "extreme savings mode" for the time the cameras were rolling, the process of getting "financially fit" is a lot like getting physically fit -- there are no magic potions or spells (drat), but there *is* reward for working hard & making tough choices.

And anyone who really knows me can vouch for my illiteracy with both math & budgeting -- but with practice & positive reinforcement for a job well done -- it does get . . . well, maybe not "EASY" (because who doesn't have to FIGHT that impulse for a warm oatmeal raisin cookie?) but it becomes more comfortable . . . it's a different lifestyle.

I appreciate my cheer squad & the camaraderie and good cheer of the other Tallahassee families. Mwa! Mwa!

This is a great article about how to "trick yourself" into saving money: And they are good ones, and not just re-runs:

http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/SavingandDebt/SaveMoney/9-sneaky-tips-for-saving-more.aspx

Once you have set initial goals, and then you meet them . . .

You can then set higher ones. That's really cool.

BUT BEWARE!: Just when Congress added consumer protections against the worst abuses of the credit card industry, they have been conspiring to think up new ways to trap you into debt-bondage:

http://redtape.msnbc.com/2010/01/six-new-credit-card-booby-traps-on-the-way.html

My wise friends at Love & Logic shared this gem with their newsletter readers recently: "Yes! Sincerely joyful people understand that basing one's happiness on the acquisition of material possessions and participation in exciting activities leads to ever-increasing unhappiness and stress."

And I would like to add a corollary that I have learned in this challenge: Happiness can be amplified through feelings of financial security and competence, which can best be gained through daily practice with financial skills and intentional and consistent spending and saving practices.

The Love & Logic group's orientation is toward helping parents raise children who are assets instead of liabilities, the continued by explaining how adults should model consumption moderation:

"Do you want your kids to spend their lives searching for the pot-o'-gold at the end of the rainbow? Do you want them spinning their wheels, racing toward something that doesn't exist? If you care enough to spend time reading tips from the Love and Logic Institute, I'm sure that you don't!

As early in life as possible, start teaching them that happiness comes from having loving relationships with people…rather than things.

Because of the materialistic culture we live in, I think all of us are finding this a bigger challenge than ever. That's why it's more important than ever to do two things:

Spend loving time with our kids.

Say "No" when they ask for lots of stuff."

Easier said than done, of course, but words of wisdom nevertheless.

Holidays are inevitably full of emotions – good ones and bad – and I have, for many years, wanted to jump off of the cycle of gift-giving that always struck me as mindless & wasteful. I realize that I tend to buy presents for an elaborate set of emotional reasons, and this habit is so firmly entrenched that I find myself buying & giving even when I don’t want to.

Fortunately, this year I have been the most free from the kind of “obligatory” spending/giving that always makes me feel worse than (and broker than) before. Also fortunately, we have been priming the kids for a sharp drop off in “gift expectation” (associated with crass consumerism & wasteful consumption) by reminding them that ours is NOT a traditional gift-giving holiday and that the spirit of the season should be “giving the gift of one’s company and good cheer.” But that has only gone so far.

I have brought them on a trip away from our creature comforts in some measure to shake them out of expectations of “me, me, me” that we’d indulged when they were small. I would like to make more adventurous forays into TRULY needy places (even those close to home) in the future to also help temper the instinct to want to RECEIVE the STUFF of the season that the sharp uptick in commercials targeted to children inspire.

But this year, I am happy that we have found the gift of “moderation.” I finally found a space in which I do not feel resentful about – either because I’m spending too much or too little. I said to Mara today after buying a guilty trinket in a fancy soap shop: “I really like an indulgent bauble [in this case, fancy soap] that is, at the same time, useful.” I am happy to look at the fancy things & make a notebook of my “wants” and plan for them. In the meantime, I can have small indulgences & give moderately to my children and family – because these little bits of glitter are in my budget!

I’ve been thinking about what I have accomplished with the motivation that the Florida Commerce Credit Union has supplied to my financial fitness. Below are some of the items that I have accomplished or addressed in the past year on my path to getting my act together:

I got a job! I am not sure AT ALL how I like full time work – I think I MUCH prefer contract work with a more flexible schedule, but this has allowed me to move forward in other areas of my life that had me held down.

I cannot re-finance until 2010 because if circumstances I desperately tried to control – but ultimately could not – but I still have that goal firmly in front of me, and I will continue to pursue it – rather than freak out.

I sold the Cooper (but it came with the stupid buy of the truck)

I learned how to sell on eBay – and I sold some scrapbooks that had been sitting on a shelf

I quit drinking soda, eating out is a _special treat_

I learned to manage my prescriptions to advantage (and to use coupons effectively and consistently)

I’ve also learned the difference between “want” and “need” and that lots of coupons are for “wants” not “needs”!

I am working on going paperless – I am scanning things a little bit each night – I’m nowhere close to done, but I am trying to tame that paper tiger that kept me from dealing with my finances.

I have managed to get the children “hooked in” to the family’s financial goals (it helped to have a goal in the first place!) and we struggle together to define things like “how short is ‘short-term savings’”?

I am working toward understanding my financial stress and avoidance on many levels. Some days I make BIG steps forward, and other days it is all I can do to open my mail. But I think back to that question I was asked at the beginning of the challenge: “How often do you think about money?” The answer now is the same: EVERY DAY! But now, instead of thinking about it in terror, I think about it with more confidence that I am headed in the right direction.

No kidding. But I am learning moderation and trade-offs (with a lot of practice!).

Black Friday:

It is remarkable that I could look through the “Black Friday” ads and think, “Hey, I don’t really need ANY of this!”

Before I went out, however, I researched & researched & researched . . . I checked on-line Black Friday sales (most everything already said “sold out”). And the two little things I wanted – a $7.50 pair of earrings like my treasured pair that I’d lost one of, and the piece of exercise equipment that I was planning to buy ANYWAY, but was half price at Sears – those were nowhere on-line.

And old habits die hard & I have always loved to be in a freezing cold and dark parking lot somewhere at the stroke of 4 a.m. – mostly so I don’t feel like I “missed” anything.

I am thrilled to report that I got both of my treasured items, and I kept my other purchases to “wow” deals on necessary clothing items & shoes that the children needed & I would have had to purchase anyway. I got a handful of “splurges” like $5 items for the kids’ gifts (and a few of these that the kids could give to friends & relatives), but overall, what I bought was common-sense stuff . . . and as one of the articles that claimed to decode “myths” about this sale date claimed, these deals really ARE the best price of the year on many items.

Off the Gift Wagon:

I have also been interested in hoping off the “gift wagon” and making charitable donations instead . . . and I was able to buy some very warm coats originally priced at $45 for $15 and I intend to donate these to a local coat drive. Each year I hope that I can decrease the “me” holiday budget and shift more to the “donate” category in December. This is hard though. I did not have much of an example of charitable giving growing up, and I think it is hard for MANY people to give if they never have before – and if they have worried about having “enough” themselves.

Cooper Watch:

I sold the Cooper on eBay . . .to Haroon Rasheed in Afghanistan, zip code 12345. I’m a tad put off of the eBay system, but I have it listed again – I’ve had a FANTASTIC mechanic look at it & ok it – and I’m selling it for a song to cover some of my upcoming trip expenses. I have listed also on Auto Trader, and so I have high hopes that this next week some lucky, lucky person will be SUPER COOL in the sporty, red, and gas-sipping Cool Machine!

Homework:

I may have mentioned that I’d been sold a pick-up truck (by a friend I’d trusted) for approximately 3 times what it was worth, and this has been a bitter pill to swallow in this point in the challenge when I’d been hoping to avoid making costly mistakes. I will sustain a *significant* loss on this transaction (and I’ve been avoiding the blog because I’d been so freaked out about how to fix this), but I avoid crying about it by reminding myself that we must do our homework in ALL things that cost money, even when we’d prefer to trust someone else to act in our best interest.

I’m trying to outfit the lot of us for our travel to a coooooooold climate, and this is taking a toll on my credit cards, but as my mother is able to repay the little loan I made her, I’m hoping to get balances back to zero.

And I am undertaking the task of learning how to communicate openly with a partner about finances. Since money is the number one stress on marriages, I thought I should come to terms with old, bad patterns of the past, and learn new ones before I try to merge finances with anyone else. I am listening to an audio book called First Comes Love, Then Comes Money and I have thus far established that my “money type” is “spender” (my friends are now rolling on the floor with gales of laughter saying “you needed a BOOK to tell you that?”) but there are other nuances of how we view money that are important to consider when another person. This is HARD stuff! And, because I now realize that money will never be “easy” for me, I’m taking baby steps, and forgiving my imperfections along the way.

I have never thought financial responsibility was an imposition . . . but I do find it to be *difficult.* Some people are naturally thin & do NOT struggle with food. Some people wage daily war with it – and through their struggle, they find strength – but they probably have some . . . complaints – or steep climbs up a learning curve?, I suppose. My journey has been deeply educational & the source of great personal pride – but it has not been a solid “happy parade” (nor did I expect it to be).

I guess I never thought that I was bringing anyone down – maybe that’s self-centered of me? – but no one mentioned it. Frankly, I’d have been bored reading stories that were unflaggingly positive – because that doesn’t seem realistic to me.

And I am struggling – still. But I think I have finally come to terms with the fact that I may *always* find financial topics hard. I still cringe when a bill comes in the mail (regardless of whether I have the means to pay it). I still would prefer working as a sole proprietor (even if my circumstances argue for corporate employment). But I have climbed mountains I once thought insurmountable! I have plans in place for reducing my interest rates. I have strategies for attacking my paper / bills clutter. I have ideas for what to do about my future employment. This is HUGE for me! TICKER TAPE PARADE STUFF! And perhaps I didn’t spend more ink on this because I didn’t want to seem a braggart – and I might have been afraid that I’d jinx myself.

So I’m developing a strategy for a strong finish: I have to cleanse away some of my previously mentioned indiscretions. I tried the Cooper on Craigslist, but with little success – I plan to list it on eBay this week. My mom should be able to pay back the $2,000 emergency loan before the contest’s end & while it does not appear that my marital circumstances will resolve such that I can refinance before the end of the year – this is a goal I doggedly pursue by making measurable steps each & every week. I think that’s a whole lot of happy. But I can’t apologize for my “complaints” because that would make it seem like it all happened by magic. Those contestants on the weight-loss reality shows SUFFER between tapings. They work hard. And they are probably not happy 100% of the time. That’s the real stuff.

My car scenario is a MESS. The truck I bought is not worth what I paid for it (I know, I know, but I bought it from a FRIEND! ACK!) and I don't know how to recoup my loss (I probably won't ever). Now I could buy a different vehicle, but I'm wondering if I should sit tight & bide my time . . .

I had hoped to refinance my home loan, but my ex won't play ball yet, so I'm treading water & getting very frustrated! I certainly won't, at this point, see any tangible money-in-the-bank as a result of this adjustment for the purposes of this contest, but I am using the end-of-year deadline to push this process doggedly forward.

I was invited to travel to England, Wales & Ireland for three weeks -- before the end of the contest -- and, after much agonizing, I've decided to go. I am very well aware that I may thus be ruining any chance I have to win, but as with restrictive diets, I sabotage myself if I feel like I can't have anything. I am trying to manage the expenses smartly: since I'm bringing all 3 children for the first 10 days, I'm trying to economize on lodging and food expenses in-country.,

These hiccups have reminded me that the time-frame imposed by this challenge does not neatly correspond to my personal financial timeline, and that's ok. I think we've all expressed the idea that by being pulically accountable, we've all thought twice about the consequences of our behavior -- kind of like a Weight Watchers meeting, I suppose. I regret very little. I'm doing better than I imagined. I think I've made permanent and lasting change.

At least that's what I'll remind myself when I lose my the amount of my plane tickets abroad. But wait! My goal with my "winnings" was to take a trip with my kids . . . and I've positioned myself to do that. How very cool.

Anyone want to house-sit?

. . . but wow, have I learned a lot!

My car debacle ended with a truck I bought for $2,200 that I cannot drive & bartered out with a friend in need -- I have mixed feeling about all that -- and I still have the Cooper -- but I made an effort -- and, with any luck, I'll make another effort at some point.

I learned today that a grant I wrote for $8.1 million in federal stimulus money was funded -- yeah me! But I wish I could do more on my own, and less at the whims of the "corporate world" which is the bane of my work existence.

I've been invited on a 3-week holiday in Europe starting mid-December and I have to decide whether to take the kids (they are invited, too). The expense will be HUGE (but I have it saved), but they will whine (but I love sharing travel experiences with kids), but they'll miss a few days of school (but LIFE *is* school!)

See? I'm extremely conflicted. I should bite the bullet, but I'm relatively new at making these HUGE decisions and I need more practice ("But Karen this would be PERFECT practice" I hear you saying) . . . I KNOW, I KNOW.

And I had a small (ok, not small) indiscretion. Her name is Selby. Does anyone want to house-sit for 3 weeks?

My escrow account was over & I got a check!

I know, I should be peeved that they'd been taking more each month than was actually due (like when you don't keep anough of your own tax money), but I'm the type who must be forced . . .

And so I have let my credit cards sustain some . . . um . . . charges . . . which I shall take care of RIGHT AWAY.

Bummer. Just think: if I hadn't run up my card balances, I could have saved all that money . . .