I have never thought financial responsibility was an imposition . . . but I do find it to be *difficult.* Some people are naturally thin & do NOT struggle with food. Some people wage daily war with it – and through their struggle, they find strength – but they probably have some . . . complaints – or steep climbs up a learning curve?, I suppose. My journey has been deeply educational & the source of great personal pride – but it has not been a solid “happy parade” (nor did I expect it to be).

I guess I never thought that I was bringing anyone down – maybe that’s self-centered of me? – but no one mentioned it. Frankly, I’d have been bored reading stories that were unflaggingly positive – because that doesn’t seem realistic to me.

And I am struggling – still. But I think I have finally come to terms with the fact that I may *always* find financial topics hard. I still cringe when a bill comes in the mail (regardless of whether I have the means to pay it). I still would prefer working as a sole proprietor (even if my circumstances argue for corporate employment). But I have climbed mountains I once thought insurmountable! I have plans in place for reducing my interest rates. I have strategies for attacking my paper / bills clutter. I have ideas for what to do about my future employment. This is HUGE for me! TICKER TAPE PARADE STUFF! And perhaps I didn’t spend more ink on this because I didn’t want to seem a braggart – and I might have been afraid that I’d jinx myself.

So I’m developing a strategy for a strong finish: I have to cleanse away some of my previously mentioned indiscretions. I tried the Cooper on Craigslist, but with little success – I plan to list it on eBay this week. My mom should be able to pay back the $2,000 emergency loan before the contest’s end & while it does not appear that my marital circumstances will resolve such that I can refinance before the end of the year – this is a goal I doggedly pursue by making measurable steps each & every week. I think that’s a whole lot of happy. But I can’t apologize for my “complaints” because that would make it seem like it all happened by magic. Those contestants on the weight-loss reality shows SUFFER between tapings. They work hard. And they are probably not happy 100% of the time. That’s the real stuff.